Today I was rather in an introspective mood. I'm rarely found in this mood,as my life is always on the fast track that leaves very space to giving time for myself. I recently had a so- called verbal duel with my mum,that left me exhausted,hurt and wounded. I've felt so alone that I shivered even during the tandoor-warm night. I even quarreled with some of my closest friends like a small school-going child that let me wonder what friendship is all about.
There are times when one feels so discouraged and frustated that he/she simple plops him/herself on the pillows and wishes the day to end quickly. But this seems too immature,even so, when this sort of a behaviour comes from a fully grown up woman,who, by God's grace is a mother of two!
Yes,I was childish.But aren't we all at some point of time? After if God has made us to face such situation,then we are at full freedom to make our decisions,whether they be good or bad. Why should we be reprimanded or punished?Shouldn't we take out the volcano bubbling inside us so that it may be dormant once again? Why can't we spit our wrath in the form of hurting words?
I approached a Father of a church I frequent and asked him if a tremulous emotional outburst is ethically proper or not. In reply, he narrated a story-
A sister of the very same church was once apprached on the same matter, by a man frustated with life. The sister,who was an epitome of piety,was gentle to him. But the inner turmoil was boiling within him and at last,it surfaced. The man took off the crucifix from the adjoining wall and threw it on the ground, shouting curses at God for putting him in such a mentally- torturing situation. The sister was calm, inspite of the fact the very object she worshipped day and night,lay in front of her in pieces. She silently picked up the pieces and fixed them with some glue. She placed the crucifix to its original position and wrote a message under it. The following two sentences,exactly quoted, has the immense power to mend broken souls and uplift spirits-
" Let my wounds heal your your body,
Let my hands mend your mind.
In a heart- healed and renewed,
Me, you will find."
There are times when you have no one to support you,no one to stand by you, no one to look up to or no one to hug.In those times, look within youself,there's a sleeping dragon within . Awaken it to action and marvel at what it can do.
I realized i need to talk it out with my mum,to mend my relationship with her,even so with my friends. If this issue is trivial,guys can we forget it and carry on with our friendship.I do value you all(You know whom i mean). If this issue is someting too major for you, then my dear, lets forget our friendship then. It hurts to part , but some things are unavoidable. But I value all of you, I love you all and you are my lifelines.
I may wear designer stuff and walk with pomp and "TQZ", but I have a soft heart within which will melt each time you say "Hey, you're my friend!!!"
I'M ALWAYS THERE FOR YOUR ALL!!!!!!
contact me , if possible