Thursday, May 14, 2009

So, Whats LOVE All About???




I've been worrying myself to the dogs lately with this question. Seriously guys, we all know what love is all about, we have all experienced it someway or the other,someday or the other.
What if I suddenly pop up in front of you and ask you to define love for me and not miss out on a single element or even the merest essence of it ? I daresay you'd take a lot of time,a lot of skrewing your imagination and a lot of racking your brains to frame an answer that would satisfy me.


I've bored my colleagues to death with this question and they had to oblidge as I can't be let down that easily. You know it, it's in my genes!
I received varied answers from my friends,but they all seemed to harper on the fact that Love is something that must be reciprocated, understood and acknowledged. Poof! Metro life has indeed made us selfish,greedy and wicked.

Then there will be someone too sophisticated and remark that he/she finds love to distant to comprehend. They are too busy with life to know about love. "But, if you are trully busy with life,then you guys must be the first ones to know about love",I say. But they smirk and shrug their shoulders.
Smirking, fuming, hating, blaming and splitting up is easy. YES, they ARE easy!
But,
Smiling instead,staying calm, loving and forgiving and sacrificing is difficult.


Teenage knew me as a "wild girl", with cropped and dyed hair,with chewing gum in my mouth(well-substituted with rudeness in the absence of the gum) and the car keys in my hand.A typical punk. One of the punks of underground Mumbai.
I had my nose high in the air, and my heart on the guy I dated. Nope,it wasn't Aryan. Someone,I'd kill for. He was drop-dead gorgeous, and the leader of our gang. My mother was rock-stiff against the kind of life I was leading.But what else could a girl,deprived of all fatherly love,do to fill the vacuum of love in her life? The guy was head over heals for me,and I loved his attention. I lapped up the chance doses of happiness greedily.

After I passed out from 12th, I demanded a new car that I can call my own , like all youngsters of my neighbourhood did. My parents had to agree. After all succeeding in persuation is in my genes. But all I got was a Bible on my graduation Day.
I stormed out of the house and went to my boyfriend's place. On my way, I saw him with someone else and there came a blow to all my arrogance and ego. I had it-" The blow of Life". That shatters you to the core,makes you feel hopeless and 'its-really-unfair-that-this-happened-to-me' sort of a feeling. But I couldn't even return home.So I chose,after a short time, persuaded by my friends to start modelling. I am tall and beautiful,and I got through pretty easily.



Then after many assignments and months- after -months trying to talk to my family,but putting the receiver of the phone down just as someone picked it up, I finally etched my name on the 'Lakme Most Beautiful Model of the Year- 2002 and 2003'.
One day, I got a call from my childhood friend saying that my dad had died. I rushed home to find quite a gathering of unfamiliar people there. Perhaps I had known them at some point of time. But now they seemed strangers to me. My mom approached me when she saw me coming. She had cried. Now her tears ran dry. I stood rooted to the spot. She took out the Bible, I was earlier given, and handed it to me. I took it and just as I did, something fell out from its many pages. I picked it up and the time stopped. The world ended. My heart halted and I lost all my sensation. It was a cheque dated the same day of my graduation. A bill- exactly the same amount as of the car I was promised.



So guys, that's what love is for me! Love- something not verbally shown,not physically expressed,not communicated in words, beacause all of these are only secondary means to express love. Love, which ran like an undercurrent in my life,and surfaced in a most cruel and an ultimate way.
I think I won. An incident of my life that defined love for you all!

Thursday, April 23, 2009


Thumbs up!


Hiyya guys


Guess what. All things are sorted out and I'm back on speaking terms with my friends. By the way let me disclose who it was(with prior permission),it was Mr. Rajeev Ray, a journalist friend of mine. Things are Okay with my mum.Told you,na. Things sort out themselves by themselves.


My youngest child, Suhanna, caught viral a couple of months ago and I faced the most dreaded part of every mother's life- seeing a sick and a weakened child. It was really heart-wrenching to see Suhhy suffering alone,and myself getting Scott- free. Suhhy rarely gets fever,and when she does, she reaches upto 101-102 degrees. I done all the miserly stuff to somewhat ease her pain, starting from applying water cloth on her forehead to feeding all meeding from time to time. It pained me when she showed no signs of recovery after the first day. Not even in the second. We moved earth and heaven in search of a good doctor.My husband,Aryan , an industrialist, took a week's leave,which stunned his colleagues as leaves and holidays have neven been Aryan's priorities ever.


I can never forget the moment when my darling opened her eyes with pain and muttered with pain- "Mamma,wil i die,I don't want to die.I haven't yet become as good as you and dad."


Aryan and I still cry when we stumble upon that memory.


Suhhy is a brave fighter,and a rebel actually. After a week when Suhhy was strong enough to move around by herself, I barely could believe that an entire nightmarish-long week had passed and i never realized. My son,Rohan, was also much affected by this incident.


We all learnt a lesson from this- I ,for one, learnt to spend more time with my family. I cancel several preoccupations daily and I've appointed a representative of mine in not-so important meetings. Today Suhhy ,Rohhy and myself enjoy weekend ice-creams, Saturday movies, Sunday hang-outs after visiting the church, Monday pillow-fights, tuesday,all three of us go to the beach after school,Wednesdays we enjoy Pani-puris at Chowpatty,Thursdays we gothe library,and Fridays Aryan takes us for long drives.At other times I preoccupy with myself with work and Aryan with his and he ,nowadays,takes care of part of my work as well.


Aryan takes leave at the end of every two months and takes us somewhere on the outskirts or we go on for our adventure journeys. Today we are wholer, warmer and more sensitive.We love more,we care more and we give more. And in return we enjoy blessing of togetherness, peace and over-all,a sense of satisfaction.We love to see our kids growing and learning the ways of life on their own measure.


After all, the only thing that rebounds with double impact ,but in the most pleasant and gentle manner,is LOVE.


Saturday, April 18, 2009




Thumbs up!



Hiyya guys,



Today I was rather in an introspective mood. I'm rarely found in this mood,as my life is always on the fast track that leaves very space to giving time for myself. I recently had a so- called verbal duel with my mum,that left me exhausted,hurt and wounded. I've felt so alone that I shivered even during the tandoor-warm night. I even quarreled with some of my closest friends like a small school-going child that let me wonder what friendship is all about.


There are times when one feels so discouraged and frustated that he/she simple plops him/herself on the pillows and wishes the day to end quickly. But this seems too immature,even so, when this sort of a behaviour comes from a fully grown up woman,who, by God's grace is a mother of two!


Yes,I was childish.But aren't we all at some point of time? After if God has made us to face such situation,then we are at full freedom to make our decisions,whether they be good or bad. Why should we be reprimanded or punished?Shouldn't we take out the volcano bubbling inside us so that it may be dormant once again? Why can't we spit our wrath in the form of hurting words?


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I approached a Father of a church I frequent and asked him if a tremulous emotional outburst is ethically proper or not. In reply, he narrated a story-


A sister of the very same church was once apprached on the same matter, by a man frustated with life. The sister,who was an epitome of piety,was gentle to him. But the inner turmoil was boiling within him and at last,it surfaced. The man took off the crucifix from the adjoining wall and threw it on the ground, shouting curses at God for putting him in such a mentally- torturing situation. The sister was calm, inspite of the fact the very object she worshipped day and night,lay in front of her in pieces. She silently picked up the pieces and fixed them with some glue. She placed the crucifix to its original position and wrote a message under it. The following two sentences,exactly quoted, has the immense power to mend broken souls and uplift spirits-


" Let my wounds heal your your body,


Let my hands mend your mind.


In a heart- healed and renewed,


Me, you will find."




There are times when you have no one to support you,no one to stand by you, no one to look up to or no one to hug.In those times, look within youself,there's a sleeping dragon within . Awaken it to action and marvel at what it can do.




I realized i need to talk it out with my mum,to mend my relationship with her,even so with my friends. If this issue is trivial,guys can we forget it and carry on with our friendship.I do value you all(You know whom i mean). If this issue is someting too major for you, then my dear, lets forget our friendship then. It hurts to part , but some things are unavoidable. But I value all of you, I love you all and you are my lifelines.



I may wear designer stuff and walk with pomp and "TQZ", but I have a soft heart within which will melt each time you say "Hey, you're my friend!!!"


I'M ALWAYS THERE FOR YOUR ALL!!!!!!


contact me , if possible






Sunday, April 12, 2009




Thumbs up!


Hey hi guys,



Looks like I've finally managed to "hook" some followerers.9 followeres yet.My lucky number is 9. Well guys, you know I good I was in English at school, I actually hated picking up a pen and writing anything.I was a better speaker than a writer. But now the wheels have turned. I prefer writing these days, more so because there are hardly any good listeners left.



Firstly, a BIG THANK YOU, for taking time and reading my blog. Any suggestions and comments are warmly welcomed.



Returning to where i'd left, genes vs jeans;



A few facts:





  • A simple pair of Levi's cost upto nine- hundred bucks. Not to mention thats the starting price for a plain blue denim.But of course you need the tag, and the aristocracy that you wear a Levi's even to the market.


  • The costliest Levi's was sold at L.A. at around 1,400,000$. Chill it guys, it was embellished with diamonds and semi-precious stones. The belt along with it was a marvel. It weighed 30gm and was gold-plated with pearls as buttons. Phew! You can see the pic. above


  • Pe`pe jeans come next.Then Wrangler's , ForeverDenim and Lee`. Mind you all companies are at sword's end to win the favour of petite women and funky punkies.

  • The costliest wardrobe in the world belongs to Giorgio Armani with Versace and Queen Elizabeth lining up. In India, the favour goes to Neeta Ambani and our very own Shah Rukh Khan.(I wonder where in the name of hell, I stand!).

So, my dears, jeans burn a hole in the very pocket you are going to buy. I wonder if you'd ask anyone close to you to adorn you in all the jeans you bought during your lifetime, before he places you on the funeral pyre, so that you may be reborn wearing the jeans. I owned 20 pairs of jeans in my earlier days,when i was really into this fashion stuff, and believe me, I've given 15 of them to the underpriveledged women I work with in my NGO,out of which 10 were Levi's,2 Wranglers, 1 Pe`pe, and 2 Newport. Good riddance I say.My wardrobe is less clustered and my heart more satisfied.


Believe me its a feel good thing,- charity. I preferred a swollen heart to a tight jean. When i gave up my favourite jean,I felt I was parting with a kind of "first love". But I survived. After all she looks better in them than me.


The battle PART 1 ended here,guys, with jeans losing. But the war is not over yet. Here comes the next.........................





Monday, April 6, 2009

Sunday, April 5, 2009

I
Thumbs up!

I belong to the glitz and glamour of the megacity life of Mumbai. Life has poured its vessel of experiences on me, this eventually led me to start my own string of blogging.This is my first blog and i hope it does not prove to be a piece of boredom for you readers.

From my childhood, I knew I was beautiful and born to "romp the ramp". I've been through hundreds of shows and fashion weeks, and all this left me exhausted and wanting to know the real me. I have thus switched over from reel life to real life and now I'm a proud mother of a beautiful daughter. I've undergone an MBA course via correspondence and I currently work with an NGO that helps youngsters to rediscover their life's aims, to unearth their purpose in life and to bring out the true self in each of them. I've helped many to open their eyes to LIFE; to the fact that it is our genes and our innate personality that defines us and not the clothes we wear and the huge wardrobe we boastfully own.

But in the present generation, the fight between genes and jeans is very tough and prolonging.

Here comes a few episodes of the large MAHABHARAT.......