Thursday, May 14, 2009

So, Whats LOVE All About???

I've been worrying myself to the dogs lately with this question. Seriously guys, we all know what love is all about, we have all experienced it someway or the other,someday or the other.
What if I suddenly pop up in front of you and ask you to define love for me and not miss out on a single element or even the merest essence of it ? I daresay you'd take a lot of time,a lot of skrewing your imagination and a lot of racking your brains to frame an answer that would satisfy me.

I've bored my colleagues to death with this question and they had to oblidge as I can't be let down that easily. You know it, it's in my genes!
I received varied answers from my friends,but they all seemed to harper on the fact that Love is something that must be reciprocated, understood and acknowledged. Poof! Metro life has indeed made us selfish,greedy and wicked.

Then there will be someone too sophisticated and remark that he/she finds love to distant to comprehend. They are too busy with life to know about love. "But, if you are trully busy with life,then you guys must be the first ones to know about love",I say. But they smirk and shrug their shoulders.
Smirking, fuming, hating, blaming and splitting up is easy. YES, they ARE easy!
Smiling instead,staying calm, loving and forgiving and sacrificing is difficult.

Teenage knew me as a "wild girl", with cropped and dyed hair,with chewing gum in my mouth(well-substituted with rudeness in the absence of the gum) and the car keys in my hand.A typical punk. One of the punks of underground Mumbai.
I had my nose high in the air, and my heart on the guy I dated. Nope,it wasn't Aryan. Someone,I'd kill for. He was drop-dead gorgeous, and the leader of our gang. My mother was rock-stiff against the kind of life I was leading.But what else could a girl,deprived of all fatherly love,do to fill the vacuum of love in her life? The guy was head over heals for me,and I loved his attention. I lapped up the chance doses of happiness greedily.

After I passed out from 12th, I demanded a new car that I can call my own , like all youngsters of my neighbourhood did. My parents had to agree. After all succeeding in persuation is in my genes. But all I got was a Bible on my graduation Day.
I stormed out of the house and went to my boyfriend's place. On my way, I saw him with someone else and there came a blow to all my arrogance and ego. I had it-" The blow of Life". That shatters you to the core,makes you feel hopeless and 'its-really-unfair-that-this-happened-to-me' sort of a feeling. But I couldn't even return home.So I chose,after a short time, persuaded by my friends to start modelling. I am tall and beautiful,and I got through pretty easily.

Then after many assignments and months- after -months trying to talk to my family,but putting the receiver of the phone down just as someone picked it up, I finally etched my name on the 'Lakme Most Beautiful Model of the Year- 2002 and 2003'.
One day, I got a call from my childhood friend saying that my dad had died. I rushed home to find quite a gathering of unfamiliar people there. Perhaps I had known them at some point of time. But now they seemed strangers to me. My mom approached me when she saw me coming. She had cried. Now her tears ran dry. I stood rooted to the spot. She took out the Bible, I was earlier given, and handed it to me. I took it and just as I did, something fell out from its many pages. I picked it up and the time stopped. The world ended. My heart halted and I lost all my sensation. It was a cheque dated the same day of my graduation. A bill- exactly the same amount as of the car I was promised.

So guys, that's what love is for me! Love- something not verbally shown,not physically expressed,not communicated in words, beacause all of these are only secondary means to express love. Love, which ran like an undercurrent in my life,and surfaced in a most cruel and an ultimate way.
I think I won. An incident of my life that defined love for you all!